The Spy Who Loved Me

Ten years after Lewis Gilbert directed my favorite Sean Connery 007 film, he returned to the series to direct the best Bond movie since On Her Majesty's Secret Service. The Spy Who Loved me was released in 1977 and kicks all kinds of ass! Even though i am not a huge fan of the over the top bond films, Lewis Gilbert some how manages to pull these off and not make them completely laughable. He pulls off tongue and cheek very very well.

This is the Bond movie that has it all and Carly Simon's title song "Nobody does it Better" is a true statement about the film. Roger Moore kicks so much ass in his see through tuxedo shirt and bellbottoms. Barbara Bach just might be my favorite Bond Girl. She is an equal to Bond, as far as spy's go and she is totally hot. Usually when Bond gets teamed up with another spy throughout the entire film, it can get annoying, but in this case it works.

The story is pretty much the same as You Only Live Twice, but instead of an evil genius stealing spaceships with bigger spaceships, this guy steals submarines with a huge oil tanker!! In this movie, Bond does not have a helicopter that fits in four suitcases, but rather a jetski that fits in one duffle bag. The main difference in this movie is the fact that it has a henchmen that is hot on Bond's trail the whole time. And this dude kicks so much ass that they put him in the next film!

Richard Kiel plays the huge ass, metal teeth killer known as JAWS! I mean, just look at that guy, he is a monster!! Hands down, my favorite henchmen of all 22 films.

This movie is easily my favorite of all the Roger Moore outtings and Marvin Hamlisch's disco infused score is actually pretty fun. There is not enough i can say about this film. From the amazing pre-title sequence (my second favorite in the series) all the way to the "Gay Sailor Choir" version of "Nobody Does it Better" during the end credits, The Spy Who Loved Me is a great movie to watch if you haven't seen any of the Roger Moore 007 films!!

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Shitty DVD Cover of the Week - Pizza Man

Ghostbusters 3

If i had any kind of pull in Hollywood i would use my powers to invade the producers who are making Ghostbusters 3 and force them to make my version of the film. I am sure that this could be considered Fan Fic, but i think of it as more of a kick as idea that should be a real movie. So far from what i have heard, this new Ghostbusters film is along the lines of what i had in mind.

First off, i think that 20 years after the events of Ghostbusters 2, that the Ghostbusters have become Corporate and all of our favorite Ghostbusters from the past now work in New York at "Spook Central" aka the Ghostbusters Corporate Offices. Ghostbusters is now a thriving business and many franchises are popping up across the united states.

My story starts with a small group of college graduates and slackers that decide to start up their very own Ghostbusters Franchise. This story will expand on what was shown in the first Ghostbusters, with the struggle of starting a new business. But this time around, we will get to see what it is like to become a Ghostbuster. We will follow the crew as they pick out a location for their HQ and we will get to see the Franchise Package provided from Corporate. This packet will have instruction manuals (Tobin's Spirit Guide Cliffs Notes), Computer Discs to upload your Franchise into the GB Mainframe and the best part is an introductory DVD that has the legal ins and outs of starting up your franchise, hosted by Lewis Tulley and Original Ghostbusters ("We're Ready to Accept You!"). A training manual and instructional video will also be included, along with some Ghostbusting tests and tips.

You will also learn about the Storage Containment Cleaning that happens on a weekly basis. A large truck will show up at your Franchise location hook up to your Spirit Storage Containment Grid and clear it of all entities and dispose of them into one main facility that is monitored in the middle of the Nevada desert.

The story of these guys will follow them as they struggle through their new business. The ups and down of being a franchise and the rivalries that come with competing Ghostbusters. The new Ghostbusters keep encountering a "free repeater". They start to realize that this "free repeater" is trying to send a message to the Ghostbusters. The Ghostbusters figure out that they are able to communicate with this ghost through EVP. They find out through this ghost that there is a weakness in the main grid and that there is an entity in the grid that is swallowing up other spirits and intends on gaining enough energy to break free from the facility through sheer force. This entity grows stronger with each containment grid drop off from all of the nation's Ghostbusters.

In the end this entity has manifested itself into a physical form the only way a ghost can, by way of ectoplasm. This ectoplasm entity is ten stories high and it is up to all the Ghostbusters franchises around the united states, to band together and stop this creature in an all out war. With their backs up against the wall, the Ghostbusters cannot think of a way to stop this threat. In a last ditch effort, there is only one place to call, Ghosbusters Corporate. After making their way through the automated phone system (Janine's voice), the New Ghostbusters contact Ray Stantz in the Applied Sciences department. Ray gathers the rest of the original Ghostbusters to figure out how to stop this creature. They suit up and join the fight! I am pretty sure that by the end of this story, every last person in a Ghostbuster uniform is covered with slime.

THE END.

I have thought about this version of GB3 for a few years now and i hope that whatever the guys come up with for the actual part 3 is anywhere as cool as what is in my head.

Fingers Crossed.

Shitty DVD Cover of the Week - Rampage

Outlander - Review

A few months ago i saw THIS TRAILER for a movie called Outlander. The movie follows a soldier from a colony from another planet who tracks down and captures a large alien monster. While transporting it through space his ship crash lands on Earth circa 709 AD only to be captured by Vikings. The Outlander, as he is called, informs them of the "dragon" that he has brought and that he is the only one who can stop it.

For a while i was obsessed. I really wanted to see this movie. I don't know why i wanted to see it so bad. I am not a big fan of vikings, but the space stuff looked cool and i like monster movies so i figured it would be most likely awesome. I began to do some research and it looked like it was going to be released in a limited theaters. Being from southern california it usually does not matter how limited of a release a film is, chances are that it will be showing fairly close to me. This seemed like an original enough premise with cool effects to make it worth my while to make the trek to wherever it was showing. The only problem, the closest place that was showing it was way up in San Jose for only one midnight showing. Weak.

Although i knew i wouldn't get to check it out in the theater, i figured that it would be something that i could pick up on home video. I found out that they were going to release a dvd of Outlander in the united states. This got me pretty excited. I figured that i would just go ahead an purchase the movie, on the principal that i feel like supporting a film that has the guts to try something off the beaten path. With all of the remakes out there, i would rather support something that has some sort of originality. When is hollywood going to realize that movies like Land of the Lost are going to continue to tank, while original ideas like Up and The Hangover thrive?

After i was unable to purchase a copy of Outlander on DVD with a gift card i had through FYE, i ended up finding out that outside of the united states there were Blu-ray versions of the film, that would play in my player. So i dropped about $25 and had a copy of Outlander shipped to me from Canada.

Today i was able to sit down and watch this movie. Although it does have some issues, i feel that with a little fine tuning, that this movie would have been able to make some money theatrically. If they can release films like Pathfinder and In the Name of the King, why couldn't this movie make it? Apparently the Weinsteins did not feel it was good enough for a wide audience. Thanks, jerks.

The movie is pretty good. The effects are pretty solid for the most part. There are a few moments were the monster looks like something out of Xena or Hercules, but i think the design is cool and it is shot in such a way that you do not take too much notice of the effects that aren't as successful. I think that the acting of Jim Caviezel and John Hurt was really good. I thought that Ron Pearlman was awesome and could have used a lot more screen time. The sets were beautiful and the cinematography was well done. It reminded me of a fantasy film from the 80's but with a lot less cheese. I would love to see more space stuff, but the majority of the film is Viking centric. It is a fun adventure with some cool effects and plenty of viking fighting!

All in all, it was a pretty solid film and will watch it again with whoever is up for a viewing.

★ ★ ★ ½

Shitty DVD Cover of the Week - No Way Back

Geoff Johns Signing!

I recently found out that in one month from today, Geoff Johns will be signing copies of Blackest Night #1 at my store! If you haven't been following this blog, Green Lantern has been kicking all kinds of major ass the past few years and it seemingly has all been leading up to this point!

Pretty soon i will be doing a large window painting of The Green Lantern along with the blackest night logo. The image of the Green Lantern i am going to use is a simple one, but not cartoony. It will be the version from the cover of "The Batman Strikes" #48. It is a simple drawing with a classic GL pose. I am looking forward to getting the shop ready and meeting my favorite comic writer working today!!

You have to come to the store if you are in the area.

1/6 Scale Dutch

One of my all time favorite movies is "Predator" starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as Dutch, the leader of a top secret platoon that ends up fighting a space alien in the jungles of South America. Of all of Arnold's roles, Dutch has always been my favorite. I like his other characters, but none of them are more human than his character in Predator. Predator is one of the few times that Arnold actually gets his ass handed to him, but it only makes him cooler!

Years ago, when McFarlane Toys was making all kinds of Movie Maniac toys, i always hoped that they would make a Predator figure or a Dutch. I always wanted a Dutch toy. I guess i figured that GI Joe was a pussy compared to Dutch, mostly because GI Joe never went head to head with anything remotely close to The Predator. I mean, cme on, was Cobra Commander supposed to be the best they had?

Dutch would have always made the ultimate GI Joe figure and now, in a way, he is! Today i purchased a Major Alan "Dutch" Schaefer (apparently that is his name) action figure from Hot Toys. Ever since i have worked at the comic shop, i never really had the urge to spend the kind of money on a toy as the other guys do, but this one i could not pass up.

I knew i would feel guilty spending so much money on a 12" action figure, so i mentioned it to Stevi and started to sell some stuff on eBay. It only took two auctions (15 comic books and one out of print CD) and this figure was all mine. Guilt Free!!

The figure stands, as i mentioned, 12 inches and looks absolutely amazing! They gave him these translucent eyes that make the figure look eerily real. He comes with a pistol, two grenades, a cigar, two gigantic knives and his awesome M-16 with grenade launcher!! The clip is removable and you can see the little painted bullets inside.

The face of the figure (shown above) looks amazingly real. It is like they killed a tiny Arnold and stuffed him in a shoe box. The body is modeled after Arnold's actual body in the film and has a creepy rubber feel to it. I attempted to take his three layers of shirts off to check out the Sculpt (i know how that sounds), but the clothes were so intricate that i was afraid that i would not be able to get it all back together unless i had time to do it.

I feel like a total nerd (Andy from 40 Year Old Virgin comes to mind) but i am pretty stoked on this figure and you should totally check it out!

Agent Orange

Larfleeze made a pact with the Guardians of the Universe thousands of years ago. The Guardians and their Green Lantern Corps would never set foot in the sector in which he resides, in return Larfleeze is to keep the power of the Orange Light buried deep within the planet of Okaara in the Vega system.

When a strange race of creatures, know as the Controllers, go searching for the Orange Light deep within Okaara, Larfleeze believes that the Guardians have not held up to their side of the bargain and decides to go after the Green Lantern Corps.

Larfleeze has fallen into the grasp of the Orange Light. The power of the Orange Lantern is that of pure unadulterated GREED! Anyone who dares come near his lair, deep beneath the planet's surface is sure to feel the wrath of THE ORANGE LANTERN CORPS and their master, Agent Orange!

Sitting safely in his underground hideout, Agent Orange steals the souls of fallen Lanterns and uses them against any of his enemies. Creating a whole army with his mind, Agent Orange will stop at nothing to get anything he wants.

After Larfleez decides to start picking off GL officers, the Guardians lift the no fly ban over the Vega System. Trying to fight off all of Agent Orange's "avatars" the Corps give Hal Jordan enough time to get into the lair of Larfleeze!!

Armed with his Green and Blue power rings, Hal Jordan faces off with Agent Orange. At each other's throats in a stalemate, Hal Jordan and Larfleeze decide to make an agreement. Hal Jordan wants to know all the details involved in Larfleez' and the Guardian's deal thousands of years ago. In return Hal Jordan will hand over the Blue Lantern ring that Larfleeze covets. Larfleeze adheres to his end of the bargain. Once Hal Jordan hears the entire story of the pact between Larfleeze and the Guardians, Hal finds out the the Blue Lantern ring of Hope will not come of his hand as expected. Hal continues to struggle to remove the blue power ring. The ever impatient and greedy Larfleeze becomes irritated with Hal Jordan. With the glimmer of Blue in his beady soulless eyes, Larfleeze takes the Blue Ring and Hal Jordan's entire left arm along with it!!!

The Man with the Golden Gun

In 1975 Roger Moore returned in one of my least favorite 007 film, The Man with the Golden Gun. This is the fourth and final James Bond film directed by Goldfinger's Guy Hamilton. For some reason after Diamonds are Forever and Live and Let Die, they still decided to use Hamilton.

His films were way too campy and only got worse with Roger Moore, who had already brought a lighter side to 007. This movie has one of the worse pre-title sequences. It takes place in a fun house and is not exciting in the slightest. The whole movie is pretty lackluster which sucks because it has some of my favorite characters.

Francisco Scaramanga played brilliantly by Christopher Lee is one of my favorite villains. He is the man with the golden gun and is intellectually equal to James Bond and is just as suave and sophisticated as 007. He is probably the only James Bond villain that you actually believe can take out 007 and he does so with one of the greatest henchmen of all time. Nick Nack played by Hervé Villechaize is awesome!!

As for the girls, this is one of the few times that i am not annoyed by at least one of them. Maude Adams is great, but getting slapped around by Roger Moore is a little unnerving. Britt Ekland plays the fumbling MI6 sidekick to 007 and would normally be annoying, but between the accent (which to me always makes someone sound smarter) and the bikini that she wears in the last half of the film, makes her one of my favorites.

There are some great action scenes, which include a car chase, which ends with 007 launching his car off of a ramp over a river while doing a barrel roll (as depicted in the poster image above)! Even though it is probably the coolest car stunt ever to be filmed, John Barry, who is usually amazing, decided to put in a slide whistle effect that turns it into a super ultra lame film moment.

Speaking of the music, Lulu's theme "The Man with the Golden Gun" is one of my favorite, especially when it is sung by my friend Ryan. I love when the producers feel the need to have the title of the film in the song, especially when it comes to a title as ridiculous as this one!

All in all, this film is a turd. It can be fun at points, but it is forgettable.

★ ★ ½

COMIC CON '09 - Spolight on Mike Allred

FROM MIKE'S MESSAGE BOARD -

"Just found out today I will have a spotlight panel:

Spotlight on Michael Allred
Friday, JULY 24
10:00-11:00am
ROOM 8

Plus Han will be manning a table at the Image booth for strangecandyink.com where we'll have the art prints on water color paper (veddy veddy nice). Many new designs, plus THE PUKE cover signed by both Dave Cooper and myself and a couple signed by me and Darwyn Cooke. The modified Popgun cover art is a personal favorite too. There'll also be several t-shirts available and original art.

We also hope to spend some hang time at the Oni Booth and we have some events with DC/Vertigo in the works."

You guys can count on me being there!!

ralph-

MORONS - "The Lady that just Called the Shop"

So i am sitting here at work, minding my own business and the phone rings....

Phone: ring ring, ring ring
Me: Beach Ball Comics!
Lady: Excuse me, do I need a receipt in order to return a comic book?
Me: Yes, you do.
Lady: What if I don't have one. Can I still return the comic book?
Me: No, you can't
Lady: Oh, really?
Me: Yes.
Lady: Ok, thanks.
Me: Bye, now.
Phone: Click

It's All Coming Together

The last time i talked about my writing, i mentioned doing a story about a "Former Child Star". Since then, a lot has changed. I had put that short story on hold until i finished doing some fan fiction that i had hoped would become a published story. I am about two-thirds through with that one, but it too is going to be shelved for a bit.

I am really looking forward this next story line that i am working on. Or should i say, Co-Working on! That is right, i am teaming up with another writer on a project that i have high hopes for. The basic concept was revealed to me a couple of days ago and my creative juices have been flowing ever since.

When i quit Disneyland, i had big dreams of telling stories through words. It seems like this is gonna be one the best opportunities thus far. It would be a dream come true if this all comes together!