When i first saw the cover for What's Up: Balloon to the Rescue i imidiately jumped to the conclusion that this film was a rip off of the Pixar film Up. Boy, was i way off! This movie is absolutely nothing like Up, with the exception of the fact that there is a boy, an old man and a flying house.
Where as Up is a beautifully, emotional adventure story filled with peril and self discovery, What's Up is a pile of shit that has nothing to do with anything other than heinous dialogue, child endangerment and racial stereotypes. As you find out in the first excruciating minute of exposition, you meet a group of Monster trappers headed by two old scientists and a dumb teenage girl and her stupid annoying brother. Apparently these idiots are called into action to send dumb looking monsters into an equally dumb looking dimension.
These Monster Trappers get some sort of magic stone that is able to fuel their house/laboratory and make it fly. Apparently one of the scientists is not too keen on flying which really comes in handy when you make a flying house. Why would you make something fly that isn't supposed to fly. Don't you think that would make your phobia of flight worse, by making a flying rickety house?!
So, for some reason these people decide to take the house for a spin. While IN THE AIR they get a knock on the KITCHEN DOOR. Somehow this french dude, made it up into the house with great ease, wandered into the house and decided to knock on the kitchen door. After a few French smell jokes, the crew decides to allow this "French Explorer" with them.
The idiots land in the middle of the Amazon, which is less detailed than my Tiger Woods' iPhone Golf game, and decide to go into a cave. Why do they go into the cave? I forget but who cares. While they are in the cave, the French dude, grabs the magic stone and tells us that he is going to use it to control the minds of every person on the planet. He starts off by causing a Hot Air balloon to crash into a tree. After this he takes some TNT and blows up the entrance to the cave, trapping the idiot monster hunters inside.
Somehow, these morons get loose from the cave and have a conversation with the french dude, who they still trust. The Frenchy drops the magic rock and it is rendered useless. So they decide to steal the Hot Air balloon to make the house fly. I am pretty sure that they leave the ballon pilot in the tree.
So, these fucking geniuses decide that they still trust old Frenchy and not only that, but the retarded girl that is with them has become smitten with him. While they are flying around in the house, that they can somehow control, the Frenchy starts to hit on the girl but her stupid annoying brother is watching tv. So what else could this trusted friend do, but Drug the little boy so he can hit on his sister. Yep, the little annoying kid gets drugged!
So apparently there are some monsters around the world that need to be trapped, so these fools go to a couple of places and trap them. But the best part is when they show up at the Great Wall of China, where they meet a Chinese man, who is probably named "Ching-Chong" for all i know. I know what you are thinking, "Damn ralph, that is really racist of you". But you have no idea how many stereotypes they fit into this one character!!! They gave this dude a camera and put a takeout container of Chow Mein on his t-shirt! They say stereotypical things to him and make him travel outside the house in the containment orb with the monsters. You think that's bad, you should see when the little annoying shit brother taunts the monsters and that Chinese Man with cookies!!
All in all this movie is a total pile of shit. I mean, it is really bad!!! I hate it with all my might. The dialogue is obviously put in after the animation was complete and the people who translated it, from wherever this movie came from, had no idea what the story was before they wrote the lines. Also, they only had one take to get the dialogue recorded. Also the dialogue sounds like the way i am typing this. Also i want to punch this movie in the face!
Up your butt, What's Up?!
ZERO FUCKING STARS!!
If you ever get a chance to go to Oahu, be sure to take an iPod adapter or some compact discs, because the radio stations, if they come in clear, blow!!
