Shitty DVD Cover of the Week - Baby Love

This week was really tough to decide!

Are These The Greatest Pictures Ever?

...OF COURSE THEY ARE!

Octopussy

In 1983 Warner Bros. was going to release a remake of Thunderball, starring Sean Connery as James Bond. With EON productions feeling threatened by having a lesser product out, they decided to keep their established 007 actor in the role opposed to casting a new one. 1983 became the year of the Double Old Farts!

Octopussy just may be one of the least memorable outings in the entire franchise. Every time i go to watch Octopussy, i think, "Oh that's this one". Octopussy isn't that bad of a film, there is just some really questionable moments sprinkled throughout, which is strange because of how much work they did in the previous film to ground 007 in reality. Some of the most insane moments from the whole franchise happen in Octopussy, including James Bond driving a mechanical aligator, a buzzsaw yo-yo, a mechanical horse's ass, a Tarzan yell and James Bond dressed as a circus clown.

So it had been 11 years since Roger Moore had begun portraying 007 and this dude aged as poorly as a jack o' lantern. He is so gross and wrinkly that they had to recast old Maud Adams to play his love interest. He is all hunched over and it doesn't help that they put him in old people's clothes. I could be wrong, but i am pretty sure there is a point in the film where Roger Moore is wearing a Fort Lauderdale retiree one piece suit. I think that every time he throws a punch he also throws out his back. It is really embarrassing watching a "Panti-Hose Doll" trying to run around on top a train while chasing bad guys.

There is not much to say about the other characters in Octopussy. The only real stand out in the film is Vijay Amritraj, James Bond's contact in India. He is probably the most likable sidekick in any of the Bond Films and his death is probably the most heartbreaking. The girls are really 80's looking, especially Octopussy's henchwoman played by Kristina Wayborn. She is super 80's looking.

Octopussy is not a good film, but it is a hundred times better than the Sean Connery film Never Say Never Again! Thank God that Roger Moore finally stepped down from the role of 007 after Octopussy, because he was getting WAY TO FREAKING OLD!!!

Wait, what? Roger Moore will Return in A View to a Kill??

★ ★ ½

Crank: High Voltage - Blu-ray Review

I know that i did not give a favorable review for Crank: High Voltage, but i decided that i really wanted the blu-ray when it came out. I really love the characters and no matter how much the last 5 minutes was off-putting, i still liked the majority of the stuff before it. Come hell or high water i was going to force myself to be okay with Crank 2. At least this time i knew what i was in for and i have to admit that i like the movie a lot more than my original review.

The fact that the ending is so far out there sort of made me laugh this time as opposed to cocking my head like a confused dog. I started watching the extra features as soon as i put in the disc and sure enough the writers/directors Nevaldine and Taylor mentioned that ending. They said that putting it in there was a "dare". They were sure that Lionsgate would not let them do that ending. When nobody at the studio mentioned it, they just assumed that they greenlit the script without reading it. That makes perfect sense to me. It is so fucking out there.

The movie still bugs me that Chev does not recover his own heart, but i guess it allows us to spend more time with Doc Miles. Even though the story didn't have the heart that the first one did, i sort of justify it by considering that it was the directors' intent to begin with.

All in all i still love the characters and feel that i was way too harsh on the film the first time. I guess i was overhyping myself on this and to be honest the "Crankness" of this movie is definitely ramped up ten-fold this time around.

The HD looks absolutely incredible in 1080 and the features are great! It is fun watching Nevaldine/Taylor "not care" about the franchise, even though you can tell that they love it.

★ ★ ★ ¼

Shitty DVD Cover of the Week - Grave Danger

KSUX - Oahu Radio

If you ever get a chance to go to Oahu, be sure to take an iPod adapter or some compact discs, because the radio stations, if they come in clear, blow!!

While Stevi and i were driving around in the rental car all week, we were pretty much forced to listen to the radio. None of the songs on the radio were anything that i had ever heard of before, ever. I used Shazam to figure out what these songs were and boy were they random.

Here is a list of weird songs that we heard while in Hawaii.

Gimme Love - Collie Buddz
Rock Me Gently - Andy Kim
San Fransisco Nights - Eric Burdon/The Animals
Traces - Classics IV
How Can I Be Sure - Shelby Lynne
A Taste of Honey - Herb Alpert

The best thing about the Collie Buddz song is that it appears on a Sampler Album.

A SAMPLER ALBUM!!

Shitty DVD Cover of the Week - Cocaine City 13

Oahu

I will be gone all next week in Hawaii. If you get a chance to check it out, i will be uploading pictures on my facebook page pretty much each day. I am hoping to be getting some more LOST related photos like i did when Stevi and I went in 2004. So, be sure to send me a friend request if you want to check them out.

For those of you who look forward to The Shitty DVD Cover of the Week, have no fear. I have one scheduled to be posted on Tuesday! See you in a week or so. Aloha!

Shitty DVD Cover of the Week - Night of the Dribbler

Top 10 Composers!

It donned on me that i have not really posted anything about one of my main passions. Film Music! I have been a big fan of film music ever since i was about five years old, when my mom refused to allow me to see Raiders of the Lost Ark. I really wanted to see the movie based on the commercials and i would draw pictures of Indiana Jones fighting snakes with his whip. Of course it just looked like Indy fighting a bunch of whips with his snake. My mom felt bad that i couldn't go see the movie, so she bought me the cassette tape of Raiders. Since then i have been listening to film scores! Over the last 27 years i have come to love a lot of composers. Here is my Top 10!

1. - Danny Elfman
2. - James Newton Howard
3. - Bernard Herrmann
4. - John Powell
5. - John Williams
6. - Michael Giacchino
7. - John Barry
8. - David Arnold
9. - Basil Poledouris
10.- Jerry Goldsmith

So there you have it!

Oh. Here's my bottom 10

1-8. -Hans Zimmer
9. -Monty Norman
10. -James Horner

Blarg Sketchbook -"Dead Men Tell No Tales"

My friend Justin Shady has a website called THE BLARG. For the last two months he has been doing a feature called "Sketchbook". Justin sends out a key word or phrase to contributers, who use it as inspiration to show off their artistic talent. This month's phrase was "Dead Men Tell No Tales", and although i think i could have done better with my entry, i am really happy with my concept. CHECK OUT my piece titled "She Broke my Heart" and let me know what you think!

Shitty DVD Cover of the Week - Trippin' on Christmas